" One certain category of men qualify in particular as bearers of projections - the idols, the ones we see on stages, on television and in the movie theatres. They are almost regarded as Gods; their admirers, however, are hardly able to imagine that the idols too must face ordinary everyday life and have to deal with most ordinary problems.

A star like Elvis Presley (the King) was a living myth, a collective projection of the divine lover. His "magic" charisma was driven by the archetypical image. His early somewhat pathetic death might give us a hint of how dearly a human being will have to pay for identification with an archetype.

For of course no human really can fill an archetype. In less extreme cases reality would step in and act as a rectifier. And yet an archetypical image occurs every time a woman falls deeply in love with a man. That´s exactly what makes us see the beloved in a transfiguring light, in an ideal form. Later on he is bound to reveal himself as a human being with flaws, shortcomings and insufficiencies.
Then we revoke our projections, but all too often love also goes down the drain leaving the relationship in stagnation and routine. This is definitely not the way to do it !

The nature of love - however - contains far bigger mysteries because we - in the clear-sightedness of infatuation - not only see our own unrealized qualities in a projected form - we also (well, sometimes) see his real potential. The demanding balance is to keep seeing what we once saw in each other and at the same time maintain a realistic view of the beloved person. If this wasn´t true it would be hard to explain why love over and over again has been the source of inspiration for humans in their greatest achievements.

To get on we all need someone who sees in us what we have not yet become." (Page 25 in the Danish Edition.)

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